Circle of Concern, Circle of Control
Think of all the things you are concerned about: The weather on your daughter’s wedding day. European export policy. Who will pick up the check at lunch. Rising sea level. The deteriorating road and bridge infrastructure in the US Midwest. Inflation. Deflation. Interest rates. The color of the new logo the marketing firm will recommend for your company. Whether your son gets accepted to his first-choice college. Corporate tax rates. The nasty lyrics in pop music. Mutation in the flu virus this year.
There are buckets of things we are all concerned about, from the trivial to the existentially important. All these items can be represented by a big circle:
Now consider all the things over which you have control (almost nothing) or influence (slightly more). Think of this much smaller list as a much smaller circle inside the big circle. The gap between small and big circles is a dissatisfaction gap. In other words, the bigger the difference between your influence and your concern, the more anxious you will be. The smaller the gap, the happier you are. Jesus of Nazareth made this point in his sermon on the mount:
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.^
There are two ways to close the anxiety gap: shrink your area of concern or increase your area of influence. For example, perhaps you are concerned about the makeup of the supreme court. Supreme court justices are nominated by the President and confirmed by the Senate. So, no one has control over who is on the supreme court. But unless you are the President or a senator you basically have very little influence as well. So, to reduce the anxiety gap over the Supreme Court, you could stop worrying about it and move to a topic over which you have more influence, like you son’s college entrance essay (shrink the area of concern). Or you could get elected to the US Senate (increase your influence). That isn’t usually the first step people make into politics. So, you probably need to get elected to county commission first. And as you are successful at local politics you can run for state offices, then House of Representatives, then the Senate. The way to get influence in this matter probably takes a 25-year plan, and the great news is that plan starts with something you can control: your efforts to get elected to the county commission.
Successful people seek to narrow the gap between their area influence and area of concern.
^Matthew 6:34